A Beginner's Guide to Ruling the Galaxy by David Solomons

Author:David Solomons
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Nosy Crow
Published: 2022-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

Vorlon peeled back the lid of the storage box and plucked out Niki. An awed silence descended over the viewers.

“Release me, you vile creature.” She squirmed and kicked. “This is your final warning.”

Her protests were squeaks, lost beneath the sound of thousands of slapping tongues.

“Now, with ingredients as fresh as these, there’s no need to do anything overcomplicated. In order to bring out her natural flavours you want to seal the juices in.” He pinched one of Niki’s dangling legs.

“Ow!” she cried. “That’s it. You’ve crossed a line.”

“So I’m going to simply sear both sides, slice into bite-sized pieces and serve with a jus.” Vorlon extended a hand towards the box again.

“This is it, Earth Gavin,” said Cupcake. “We’re toast. Or, technically, I guess we’re gravy.”

Vorlon’s massive hand approached like a crashing asteroid. He reached in and gathered up the bounty hunter. Gavin squeezed his eyes tight shut, awaiting the inevitable, but then he heard the Gastronite say, “Now, where did I put that earthling?”

Vorlon couldn’t see him! Niki’s plan was working. Seizing his chance, he grabbed the top edge of the Tupperware with both hands and pulled himself up. His trainers slipped against the side of the box as he flung one leg over and half leapt, half tumbled out on to the worktop. Niki had said cause a diversion and she’d do the rest. He looked around desperately for something to use and his gaze fell on the cooker. It was throbbing heartily again, sputtering and sparking. He edged along the worktop towards it. His luck was holding – Vorlon still hadn’t spotted him and the gawping Gastronite audience was salivating over Niki, too fixated to notice anything else.

Gavin looked down. Cupcake had said that as well as being a cooker, the AAAAHGA! also provided power to the ship’s heating and star drive. He saw a thick cable running from one side of it into the deck. The cable was joined to a socket in the cooker by a giant plug.

“Y’know what, this is such a special dish,” said Vorlon, “that I don’t think she needs any accompaniment.” So saying, he dropped Cupcake back into the plastic box and sealed the lid.

Gavin realised that Vorlon had abandoned making the jus, which meant he’d given up looking for him. Vorlon stepped to the cooker. A griddle pan sat on the top section. He tossed a lump of what looked like butter into it and the pan sizzled and smoked as it melted into the grooves. He reached for a hefty two-pronged fork. Its sharpened points glittered under the kitchen lights. Niki swallowed hard.

Gavin jumped down from the counter and ran to the side of the cooker. Up close, the plug was even bigger than it had looked from the worktop. It was the size of a boulder.

“Once the base is coated with a thin layer to prevent sticking,” said Vorlon, “we add the princess.”

He dangled Niki over the pan.

Placing his feet either side of the plug and gripping it tightly, Gavin leaned back in an attempt to use his body weight to dislodge it.

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